I hate my life - through the lens of a job seeker

I received yet another rejection email today and it hurt more than normal because it was such a cool company with the perfect position for me.  I dreamed of flying drones all day...  Until I heard "the buzz" and I read the first few words that were visible on my phone's update:

Hi Anthony,

Thanks for the note, I was just going to send you an update today. 

It was great talking with you last week. I appreciate your interest and enthusiasm in Company X, it has not gone unnoticed. Unfortunately, your experience does not align directly with our requirements for this role. We’re needing a candidate with a few more years of experience in high-volume global logistics.

Should something more fitting open up, I’ll reach out. I wish you the best in your search, and thank you again for taking the time to follow up with me.

Thanks,

CJ

Poof - there go my dreams.  Disrespected and trampled into oblivion with no regard for human kindness.  I let this soak in for a good 3 hours or so and allowed myself to hate my life for just a short bit of time.  Then I hit em with this email

Hi CJ,

Thank you for the follow up.  I had to let this sink in a bit before I replied because I'm pretty disappointed.  However, I understand and appreciate the transparency.    

If anything comes up, please let me know because Company X is still my #1 option and I feel like there are supply chain problems through our conversations I can solve.  

If I can come and consultant or work on projects for you guys as a contractor - please let me know because I know I could hit the ground running and immediately have an impact on the bottom line.

Good luck with everything.  Hope to hear from you soon and to see your drones flying all over the world.

Thanks,

Anthony

**********************************************************

Now a lot of back drop to this story.  I haven't found a job in 5 months (hate my life theme).  This was a great company, they already rejected me, but I have one last shot to reach and work for them as a contractor because I'd rather work for them than anyone else.  See my enthusiasm he pointed out?  It's real.  It could be unprofessional, I could be selling myself short, or I just could be really desperate.  But it's worth a shot, right?  It is to me because there is nothing left to lose.  Other than my dignity, but I'll get that back.  

What does your web browser look like at the end of the day?

          

Today I will try a different way of writing.  Can you tell me how things have changed?  (Disclaimer:  I watched Ex Machina last night and am having thought provoking conundrums.  Did I use that right?  Whatever.  

This is my web browser at the end of the day.  It show a lot of Facebook because Philz Coffee makes me sign in to use their internet.  Otherwise you would've seen some CRAZY stuff.  I've been doing a bad job about closing out subjects in my life.  There seems to be so many cool opportunities, different avenues to approach, places to be, people to meet, things to study, creativity to be unleashed, jobs to be dominated, people to be charmed, people to help, languages to speak, food to EAT, horns to beep, places to sleep, great things to repeat...  Someone once said "Anything good in life is worth over doing" and sometimes I believe that.  Especially when there is anything chocolate around me.    

LOL!  This is honestly one of the times I make myself laugh out loud when I'm writing, talking, or even just thinking.  Some people think I'm rude because I often laugh just by myself.  They think I'm rude but honestly it's just something so weird in my mind that I don't think anyone would laugh at but me.  

Let's call her the "S.O" shout out to ThuyKha always tells me I always laugh at my own jokes so this theory has been confirmed.  She keeps it 100% REAL.  Southern girls from ATL are less likely to mess around or hinder the truth from bearing it's beautiful face. 

In conclusion, just looking at my browser makes me stressed out cause I wonder what I need to read.  How is your browser?  Do you clean it up and read everything IMMEDIATELY?  I have a folder called "Get Got" that I use to place articles that should be read but everyday there's just more stuff.  I'm just going to start doing everything now.  If I don't start doing this, I'll give money to someone in SFO.

The worst email ever written

I got a call today from a recruiter for a job at LinkedIn for a Inventory Control Analyst.  Sounds pretty sweet.  The recruiter asked for a cover letter so this is what I wrote and once I read it, I seriously considered going back to grammar school.  Or just any education institute in general due to the lack of mental fortitude.

Dear LinkedIn,

            I have over 5 years of experience within the global supply chain with a great understanding of inventory from a US Fortune 500 company perspective to a German ecommerce startup in Asia.  I’ve worked in warehouses starting from receiving to managing a 30 man team for 3,000 SKUs and 50,000 items on hand.  I have great familiarity with ERP systems in general with an analytical way to make decisions based off Excel formulas.

Sincerely,

Person who won't get this job offer if he/she does not rewrite this whole thing

Enlightenment Moment

I feel like my mind, body, and soul have been enlightened in these past few days.  I want to capture that moment.

Everything seems to be going in the right direction.  I feel as though I understand the process and am able to step back and enjoy the journey.

I'm aware.

For now, because I could easily slip right back into negativity at any time as I am known to do on occasion.  I like to dabble in a little bit of everything because I have a philosophy on life that it

"it takes some good to make it hurt" (taken directly from Jazon Mraz's Life is Wonderful song)

Which means that you need to feel pain to know what feeling good is like.  You need to be depressed to know what it's like to be happy.  You NEED to be down, so that you can appreciate life that when you are UP.  How can you appreciate something if you've never experienced both sides of it?  

I have felt what it is like to not have feelings in your fingers, your hands, throat, and even my other bodily functions.  I just felt that and now, thankfully/gratefully/appreciatively know what it is like to feel my fingers and toes.  To have full function of my own body and clear vision (debatable).

Everything just feels good.  Hope my writing gets better from this point on.

I wonder how fast I type.  I am thinking 137+ using backspace.  Probably 150 without, whatever.  The main thing is that I just love to type because it's natural for me since games don't play themselves.

What do you need to learn in order to be successful?

As my boy James was mention the other day....  

The only thing you should learn is to learn thyself.  Who are you really?  

It makes me think about how I want to help teach my nieces and the nephew.  If I had a day with them, how could I change their lives?  How could I be so life altering that it ripples into their teenage and early adulthood or better yet, until they are in diapers again at 130 years old?

Learn how to identify what makes you happy and how that shapes your character.

Oh yeah and be more aware.  If someone cuts you in line, maybe they are not rude.  Maybe they just weren't taught some manners.  If you're a girl and someone doesn't open the door for you, maybe they weren't lucky enough to be shown how women ought to be treated.  Lady like.

Chess and Life is about Positioning

I've been obsessed with chess for the past few weeks ever since I started playing again.

My brother taught me as a kid and we played a few times.  Then I started playing again around the age of 25 with my cousins almost every night on Skype.  I started playing consistently though in Vietnam when I found a great group of people who would play chess and drink coffee on Sundays.  Sounds perfect to me.

It has allowed me to meet amazing people, think intellectually, and play a game at the same time.

But then I went to play chess off Meetup.com thinking my game was sharp after having played so much recently and having a burning sensation to mentally demoralize someone.  I love degrading people (in games) and really just putting them down to sleep.  Finishing or really the best word is killing.  To kill however, you need to be in the right position and these guys at this chess meet up showed me.  I got destroyed en route to a 2-10 record that day.  I think we played for about 6-7 hours switching between the 7 or so people there but in summary I got destroyed.  At that point, I realized I was in a whole new league - towards the bottom.  Which I totally did not expect, I was damn near Grand Master in my mind but these players showed me the truth and exposed my weaknesses.

My openings were horrible and thus lead to unfavorable positioning.

This ties into my life for both my career and personal development.

VK #1 told me it's about positioning.  If you can position yourself in a favorable situation then you're chances of success increase dramatically and it's almost impossible to fail unless you lose your focus.
I am starting to realize that chess and life can be viewed, played, and theorized in the same context.

Victorious VK entry #1

Today begins a series of Viet Kieu (VK) interviews I may or may not continue in the future.  The VK in question will remained anonymous for now but are basically just meaningful conversations I have with great friends.  VKs who I think are cool.

I asked VK #1 about his advice for my current situation and what can be done between San Francisco and Vietnam.  The next step in the journey that is life right before the dawn of the triple trifecta aka 30.

"A high ride floats all boats."
"It's all about positioning."

These two quotes go together because if you position yourself in the proper place in the sea, you will rise with the tide.  It doesn't matter if you're the biggest or most experienced boat, the ride rises everything.  Position yourself in the trajectory of booming places like Saigon and San Francisco.  The United States and Vietnam.

"What can THEY do for ME?"

This is debatable.  But at the end of the day, it's really about what people can do for you.

"Be known for something and step out."

You need to be known for something that is interesting thus everlasting.  I can't just be Tony a trucker from the US.  I'm Tony the tactician living and working in Turkey, who also doubles as a magician in Mongolia.  I want to know more about that guy and if I was ever looking for magic kits for kids 10 and under, I'd think of him.  If I had to assassinate someone in Turkey, I'd think oh man there was that tactician in Turkey!  He might know some people...

I'm Anthony the logistics and operations guy in Vietnam and San Francisco.  That sounds repulsive repeating to myself but that's what I am.  I'm owning it.

Then just step out.  "Own it."

P.S.  I've been writing this at a Starbucks inside of a grocery store sitting next to a lady who's been talking on the phone really loudly and awkwardly while watching her iPad at a very uncomfortable sound level.  After about 30 minutes, I realized she has been talking and laughing to herself this whole time.  Ho-ly Mo-ly.