The worst email ever written

I got a call today from a recruiter for a job at LinkedIn for a Inventory Control Analyst.  Sounds pretty sweet.  The recruiter asked for a cover letter so this is what I wrote and once I read it, I seriously considered going back to grammar school.  Or just any education institute in general due to the lack of mental fortitude.

Dear LinkedIn,

            I have over 5 years of experience within the global supply chain with a great understanding of inventory from a US Fortune 500 company perspective to a German ecommerce startup in Asia.  I’ve worked in warehouses starting from receiving to managing a 30 man team for 3,000 SKUs and 50,000 items on hand.  I have great familiarity with ERP systems in general with an analytical way to make decisions based off Excel formulas.

Sincerely,

Person who won't get this job offer if he/she does not rewrite this whole thing